Forgiving Yourself: From our childhood days, we are taught that forgiving someone is a good deed. Being forgiving is regarded as a pious and kind quality of great people in the world. It acts as an agent that relieves our personalities from the feelings of anger, rage, and revenge.
It sifts out the bitter emotions from our lives. If we hold bad feelings for someone within us, it is not only going to disturb us mentally but will also adversely affect our health and physical well-being.
Forgiving someone for their mistakes and wrong doings is a difficult job, but once you get to feel the satisfaction that you get afterward, it will become a cherished practice for you.
Forgiving yourself is very important:
Although developing a forgiving attitude towards others is vital but even more important is developing a sense of self-forgiveness. Most of us do not know how to forgive our own selves. The above situation we forgive others for their mistakes and wrong doings.
In self-forgiveness, we are the culprits of the wrong deeds and actions.
This might be something that we may have done in the past and now we need to get over it by forgiving our self for it. In more advanced terms this is a common psychological problem, where people blame themselves for some bad or unfortunate event in the past.
This thought is called self-condemnation. If this guilt or blame is held on to for prolonged periods of time, it may be fatal for an individual both physically and mentally. So what to do to get rid of this self-blame problem?
The answer is simple. Forgive yourself.
Ways to start the self – forgiveness process:
How does one learn self-forgiveness? How to start the process of forgiveness?
Below are some simple guidelines to learn this unique process:
Look at the bigger picture:
The first thing you need to do is make yourself part of the bigger picture. Do not judge yourself in isolation. Look at your situation is part of this entire world.
- We all make mistakes.
- All of us commit wrong acts.
- We all deserve a second chance.
Look at this scenario in the perspective of your spiritual beliefs and religion as well. You will definitely find a reassurance of this act of forgiveness.
Look out for repairing the damages:
Analyze the situation and look at what went wrong. Find out what was the outcome of your wrong doings or mistake and can it be reversed or changed. If people were hurt or relationships were broken, try and bring people back together.
Let go of the past:
As much as forgiveness is important, forgetting what happened is also very critical. If you keep on lingering on to the past events and mishaps, moving forward will not be possible. The guilt from the past will actually ruin your present and future. You should learn to pay lesser attention to what happened and move on.
Develop and carry out a process:
- Make a ritual out of the process.
- Give yourself some time alone.
- Sit down and relax.
- Think about what happened.
- Write down your mistakes and reasons
- Feel the pain one last time
- Now stand up and forgive yourself.
- Reiterate the self-forgiveness again and again.
- Now forgive and forget
- Decide to move on.
Accepting your mistakes:
Accept your mistakes and problems. Do not try to fight out with others and yourself about the wrong doings. What has been done has been done. There is no point in crying over it now. Keeping reminding yourself that we all can go wrong one time or another.
Do not repeat:
Take vow not make the same mistakes again. Be strong and assertive towards yourself. Analyze what went wrong and why it went wrong. Make sure not commit the same blunders again. It will be a catalyst towards your self-forgiveness process. it will help reassure yourself that if you are forgiven, you will ensure that nothing goes wrong again. Avoiding the blame situations will be your top priority.
These were some easy ways to give yourself a break and practice the art of self-forgiveness. The basic pattern of forgiving yourself remains the same but situations and mistakes vary from people to people. Forgiving someone is a hard task, but forgiving yourself is an even hard phenomenon that not all of us can master.
Next time you are stuck with some guilt from the past that would not let you sleep or relax and become a real mind boggler, try out these methods of self-forgiveness. They are guaranteed to bring you at peace with your inner self and help you find the solace and calmness that you are looking for.